The Brother Component

Sometime during the last week, Daniel turned a beautiful (metaphorical) corner with his sister.

He truly, truly adores her.

(Ignore the underwear in the photos. We live in Phoenix. It's a desert. It gets hot.)

Every morning he asks for her first thing, even if she's asleep. The second she wakes up, he races in to tell her "Violet - I'm here!"

Every night after she's gone to bed he asks for her. He notices when she's not there, and he's sad.

He now touches her without flinching or pulling away. He is playful - even tries to carry her, awkwardly lugging her backwards by her armpits. (She thinks this is great fun, by the way.)

I have noticed he talk to her more frequently about all kinds of things, not just his standard rotation of baby phrases. He stays with her if I step out of the room and chit chats about his toys or whatever.

This morning we had a perfect moment. One of those "please stop time now and I'll live happily forever HERE" moments. Violet woke up first and she was in my lap, cuddling sweetly and waking up slowly. Her door creaked open and a sleepy Daniel padded in and onto my lap too. He curled up and joined her in the "wake up slowly" process. The sweetness of that feeling... one child in each arm, sharing a lap, their arms and legs overlapping... was indescribable. It was pure honey. We grabbed some baby books and read together for another ten minutes before the lovefest broke up.

And yet not a few hours later, we had one of the most heartbreaking moments of Daniel's transition. Sitting in his room playing with his plastic food, he suddenly didn't want to share with Violet. He came pretty close to a tantrum, which is unlike him. (And so far, sharing with her has been something he's good at). He repeatedly refused, and curled up fetal style half on the floor, half on my lap, sobbing. I held him close and asked quietly if maybe he was upset that he had to share his Mommy with his sister... he sobbed harder and clung to me, nodding. It was tragic and tender, as I think we finally broke through one of the many things he's bottling up. Minutes later, he was fine, and playing happily with Mari.

And speaking of playing... Daniel's new favorite game is "doctor" (more fun details on his blog). But Violet has been his patient a few times - it's pretty darn cute.

And speaking of pretty darn cute... yesterday evening we were eating dinner on the patio and we had all finished our meals except Daniel (who takes an unbelievable amount of time to eat!) So we three played on the grass while Daniel finished. Suddenly we hear this from the patio:

"Hey! I'm right here! I miss you! And I can't wait to see you! I'm right here!"

So cute. And so indicative of the cheerful front he uses to mask his need to be a part of our lives as much as he was before.

He is such a good big brother.