I Dream of Purple

I have dreamt of adoption throughout this entire process... but last night's dream was different. It was abstract, to be sure, but the emotions were fresh and completely real.

I dreamt that our daughter was brought to the house to be with us - but she was blonde, looked Scandinavian, and was a toddler - she ran through the house exclaiming how happy she would be to make this her home. In spite of the social worker's calmness, I kept asking about our REAL daughter - where was she? Who was this? What had happened?

The urgency in my heart to get to our real daughter and find her - and to not accept anyone else in her place - was such a strong sensation. I woke up realizing how very much ours she already is. This baby... this actual little girl... not a theory or a hypothetical. Chosen for us - by us - and already loved by us.

Since Daniel moved rooms, the nursery has been pretty much shut off, out of sight, out of mind. Now it has become this space looming with possibilities, and almost tangibly aching to be filled. It feels deeply empty until she's here to fill the void. Our family of three is suddenly so very incomplete without her here.

Baby girl - when you look back on the process by which you came to the family, I hope you see how very much you were cherished, adored and longed for even before you arrived home. Your place has always been with us.

Now hurry up and get here already.


Word of Encouragement

I love our agency. This was sent out in place of their standard weekly newsletter... perfect timing for me (and I'm sure dozens of other waiting families as well).

Dear Ethiopia Families,

This weeks newsletter is a little different. I pray you will find it inspirational. It's written by Patricia Ward. Enjoy.

We share a lot of statistics with prospective adoptive families …. “average” wait times, “approximate” time between this and that, number of families traveling, number of children home, the list goes on and on.

We try to prepare families for all the things that could happen, good or bad, and pray that everything goes smoothly. Sometimes it works that way. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes for some reason, things are inexplicably difficult and drag on and on for what seems like forever, serving no purpose. Parents and Case Managers alike become frustrated and discouraged. If God called us to this work on behalf of His orphans in the world, why is it so hard?

When you distill all the feelings associated with international adoption, it probably comes down to two basic emotions – love and fear. Love for children you have never seen, thousands of miles away, is something that cannot be explained. Fear that it is never going to happen is probably easier to explain. A sense of helplessness, being totally out of control, is common and manifests itself in a myriad of ways.

Today, all that changed for one family and three children. A family’s adoption story that has been long and arduous, even before they applied to adopt from Ethiopia. Three children who were referred a year ago and have been tied up in the system. Then the miraculous happened, and in almost the blink of an eye it was all over and the adoption was finished. Our CWAE attorney in Addis sent the following quote that a friend had posted on their blog. I shared it with the adoptive mom when I called her with the good news. She said it was so true. I sent her the pictures of her new children with their biological mother, after court was over. She said those pictures made it all worth the wait. May these words bless your heart today.

"Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in they way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me. By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands."

And as Steve Brown would say, “Now you think about that.” Have a blessed weekend.