Ethiopia Day #6

Well, we are officially stir crazy! I understand the request of our agency not to travel around the city with Violet, especially with the elections coming up, but this guest house starts to feel like a cage after a few days.

The street corner we are "living" on right now is kind of fun... lots of joggers go by each morning, we can hear the orthodox church call to prayer every morning at 4:00 a.m. sharp (after six days, it's actually become soothing... initially it was like a swarm of flies that didn't stop buzzing for an hour), lots of kids walk to and from school each day, there are a few little shops and markets, and a bunch of different color/textures that seem to represent the city well. This afternoon, we walked to a little market and got some fun local snacks to enjoy.

Our saving grace is the fact that our traveling buddies have become good friends and having TWO rooms to play in is so much better than one. There is a small common play area downstairs that helps, as does the outdoor grassy patch.

Violet is doing great aside from diarrhea that we just can't shake. I know she may be playing host to a parasite or two, and I know we just changed her diet as well. Her cough is still there but the nose sores are pretty much gone (thank you, Aquaphor).

She has made big developmental improvements even in the past two days:

- Fine motor skills (hand to mouth coordination with finger food, etc)

- Crawling stamina (before she could only take one or two strides without resting... now she goes across the room)

- Standing stamina (the length of time she stands before resting is increasing too)

- Coordination (clapping on beat, etc)

- Arm strength (she is starting to hold her own bottle)

- Patience (watching us make a bottle without crying for it)

- Communication (she points to what she wants to let us know)

- Imitation (she is so bright - watches our faces and imitates sounds, expressions, etc. She even grabbed a formula tube and an empty bottle and began "making" herself a bottle by shaking the formula tube into the bottle. Amazing!)

- She has become so playful (and destructive!) with us. In the common playroom, she likes to grab the pile of old magazines and well... destroy them. We re-stack and she unstacks. It's become a game!

She does in fact "rock herself" in her crib when she wakes a little, to put herself back to sleep. The first time we saw her do it we were very disturbed. It started quietly and quickly grew more agitated and aggressive, with the pack and play sliding all over the floor. It didn't FEEL like a harmless habit when we saw it - it felt all kinds of wrong and we picked her up to rock her back to sleep. Not sure how long this will last... but I hope it goes away soon. (The only other self-soothing things she does are to suck her thumb and pull at her hair occasionally, but neither are nearly as upsetting to experience as the rocking).

She has been so clingy to me for over past few days that I find myself irritated if she allows anyone else to hold her, or even wants to be held by anyone else. I am jealous of her attention - she is my daughter - and I want her to recognize me as a mother, not just a care taker. I am worried that maybe I'm just a passing novelty and the interest will wear off soon. (There is a lady here who is staying at the guest home who Violet lunges for whenever she sees her, smiling and reaching for her. She is the only person so far that Violet has chosen over me... She resembles me vaguely - pale skin, reddish hair, tall - but what will happen when Violet is surrounded by a LOT of women in the US who resemble me vaguely? I suppose this is why the bonding process is just that - a process. But still... petty as it sounds, my tender little mother side got it's little ego bruised a little).

My favorite part of the day is still the first thing each morning. Mari wakes up, blinking slowly, lifting her arms for me to pick her up (she didn't use to do that)! She lays on my chest in bed and lifts her head to look at me, focusing on my eyes then grinning with glee, laughing and throwing herself back on me, almost growling like a baby tiger. We all wrestle and cuddle for a while... it's just pure joy!

Part of me feels like I have always known her... she's so comfortable and familiar already. And at the same time, part of me is really internalizing her current status: A newly adopted member of the family. I cannot fathom that she hasn't always been loved like this. She was crawling around naked today during a diaper change and I almost started crying - she is just so tiny. So frail. No matter how hard her care givers worked, they couldn't afford the time, energy and resources necessary for each and every child to develop well. I feel relieved that she has us now... as much relief as I feel that we finally have her.

Of course I'm worried that there are more health issues going on in that little body than we can see... but God joined us in His grace... and He will take us the next step. I trust Him so completely right now - the fruition of these last two years of lessons in patience is quietly napping three feet away from me.

I suppose it's always easy to trust at this stage... but the work He has started in me - living in His peace - has been continued through each step, even halfway around the world.