We got back to the guest home in time for lunch, where Violet happily sat in a high chair between us, eating everything in sight. They weren't kidding about the appetite bit. She ate carrots, green beans, rice and a good portion of my banana yogurt smoothie. She even nodded "yes" towards it when I asked if she wanted more.
After lunch, she loaded up an insane diaper (something told us that the poop insanity was only beginning, with the change of formula and diet), took a bottle, and crashed for a nap in the pack 'n play. We rocked her to sleep... a dramatic change from the way we helped Daniel sleep... but a welcome sweetness in our new regime of attachment parenting. She slept well, not waking to the noisy street out our window or to the sound of our conversation. And Fernando and I spent the better part of that nap just watching her sleep.
We expected her to wake up crying and disoriented. As she started to stir, we leaned over the crib to watch her... she slowly opened her eyes... focused on each of us for a minute... then broke into the biggest grin we had seen yet. And the rest of the afternoon was amazing. With each passing hour she relaxed more and by the evening, we had a positively gurgling, babbling, playful, laughing, silly, affectionate and 100% different child than we had met that morning. It's amazing what 8 hours can do.
We both held her and played with her, but already she started showing strong attachments to me (which is apparently very common with kiddos who most likely have not seen many males in their life). Especially when she's hungry or tired, she wants her mama.
There are not words to express the joy I feel in her attachment to me. When I come into view, her face displays happiness and relief. She chooses me over anyone in the room, Ethiopian or otherwise. The connection is already strong and there is no question that she's responding to me as her mother. And I already feel like her mother - maybe the bonding feels more natural since I already have a child - or because I understand that bonding is a long process, not a quick instance.
She has been our daughter legally for weeks, but it's truly a relief to meet her and find out how much it already FEELS like it.
Here are some of our first observations of our sweet Violet, and the condition she was in when we first met.
- Her smile melts the room - three teeth in, the fourth about to break through. Consequently she drools like a crazy woman.
- She crawls a pace or two at a time, then has to rest. She pulls to a stand, but can only take steps if holding on with both hands. And she only walks sideways.
- Her legs and arms are much longer than I expected... but there is no muscle tone... they are tiny and you can feel through to the bone.
- There are deep sores/cracked skin under her nose.
- She says "da da da" and the more relaxed she gets, the louder she gets!
- Her toes, fingers and feet are all long and narrow - so delicate.
- She claps in perfect rhythm to whatever song we sing - and drums her hands on things.
- She sleeps on us easily, and is a very heavy sleeper, but tosses and turns quite a bit. Definitely sucks her thumb to self-soothe.
- Her hair is very curly - a whole headful of tiny perfect ringlets.
- We tried to give her a pacifier, but she doesn't understand it. She just blows bubbles on it.
- She loves mirrors, toys and especially the cardboard packaging the toys came in.
I could go on and on. But I know we'll get to know each other so much more in the days to come. Tomorrow is our Embassy appointment - another very important day in our lives. If all goes well, she'll be granted a visa with which she can leave the country.
This whole journey has been a long string of little and big events, and today was one of the big ones. The biggest. She's with us now.
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