7.01.2011

Detangling the Mess

Always in search of a fun new family-friendly movie, we rented "Tangled" to watch all together. We popped popcorn, got in our pajamas, and snuggled on the couch to enjoy the show.

From a surface, "keep us entertained and laughing" standpoint, it was better than I expected.

But any deeper than that level, and it was a complete mess for young kiddos - especially ones in an adoptive situation.

1) The "mom" situation is complicated from the get-go. Evil witch steals sweet baby from crib (in a too-terrifying scene, by the way) but then the mom appears young and kind for a while. Enough so that Violet kept pointing: "Mommy, that's me and you! Violet and Mommy!" I kept trying to correct her: "That's just pretend Mommy..." but there was enough affection that the evil chic was convincing as a mom. Subtly she reveals herself as evil... jabs and slightly mean comments that just made the kids uncomfortable. It's a grey area.

2) Which leads to the next point. Maybe unintentionally, but this movie teaches a clear lesson: If your mom is mean to you, or you just feel like there's something better "out there", it's ok to run away. It's ok to go find your "real" family.

3) Which leads me to point number 3. Once you do run away and find the "real" family you always knew was out there, naturally, that mommy is more beautiful, kind, gracious and (naturally) everything is perfect. Life has no problems.

4) Which leads me to maybe my biggest complaint with the whole movie: Hair. Real mommy, like all movie heroines, has long, straight, shiny, curl-free hair. Rapunzel herself boasts insane amounts of golden flawless (tangle-free) hair. This might seem silly or even trivial. But to a 2-year-old who is watching EVERYTHING, this is a big deal. Especially because there IS someone who has her hair: The evil witch. Deep black curls. It's actually a beautiful head of hair. Too bad it's on someone who re-defines evil AND the worst mommy complex I have ever seen.

We are officially on the hunt for princess/heroine/fairy tales that feature curly-headed girls as the main item. It's harder than it sounds, and it's certainly not coming out of anything Disney-related. Even their African-American heroine straightens her curls into a sleek bun.

It's heart-breaking to view this world of fantasy and romance through Violet's eyes. It's amazing too, for a little girl, how much of that fantasy and romance is tied into glamorous (straight) hair. I think the part that I didn't expect to struggle with is that I HAVE that hair... long and straight. And already Violet is stroking it, playing with it, and telling me it's beautiful.

I'm determined to change this. I will find heroines with curls that she'll adore, even if we have to create them. I'll make sure she sees the beauty in her coils. And I'll do my best to demonstrate that longing for hair you don't have is a waste of energy and time - no matter your original color or texture.

Even if it means I have to chop of my hair, dye it black and perm it. Just kidding. Kind of.

1 comment:

Valerie said...

I grew up desperately wanting curly hair! Every now and then I still have pangs of jealousy when I see my curly headed friends. :)

So it may not be short and black, but the new heroine from next year's Pixar film "Brave" has extremely curly hair! http://thefoxisblack.com/blogimages//disney-pixar-brave-3.jpg

I'm not sure if that one will be out of Violet's age range, but maybe y'all can watch it some day!

And "Annie" may be too scary for a while (or maybe always, what with the creepy orphanage), but Annie had fabulous short curly hair. :)

I'll try to keep thinking!