9.01.2009

Butterflies

We have been waiting since February. While it's normal to wait this long (and maybe longer), it starts to play mind games with you.

Somewhere about halfway through the Summer, my subconscious convinced my conscious to shift the adoption to the back burner of my brain... to try to pretend it wasn't happening. It's the classic defense mechanism - putting distance to protect yourself, and your emotions. And in truth, there were days that it didn't once cross my mind.

This wait is hard. To know that our child has probably already been born, and is this far away... it hurts my heart.

Last night I had a very vivid dream about receiving a referral. I woke up with butterflies and knots in my stomach: This adoption is real! It's happening. Even if it's 2 more months until we see our baby's photo, we ARE having a baby.

I have had my cell phone next to me all morning - just in case today's the day.

You never know :)

2 comments:

Tasha said...

((HUG)) my friend! It would be hard to have to be so patient. Like you said, today could be the day! Or, maybe your baby was born last night and you will be getting a referral in three months. Better mark the date on the calendar...just in case. How cool would that be?

Bethany Chu said...

Today could very well be the day! It was for my friends the goodgames...here is their blog link I hope it gets you excited! www.thegoodgamefamily,blogspot.com