Exhausted from the dead end answers we had been getting from the world of standard medicine, we turned to a Naturopath who was more than happy to see Violet (even though her specialty is not kids).
She listened patiently, confirmed my suspicions, affirmed my guesses, and gently headed us down a new path. (One that doesn't involve risky and unnecessary procedures as "first steps".)
For a month, Violet will be on two supplements: An amino acid to heal the lining of her gut and a strong yeast to replace some of the good bacteria long missing from her intestines. We'll do a full blood workup to test for food aversions and see if gluten or dairy really are the culprits I think they are.
We'll go back in a month, not expecting fast answers, but deeply relieved to be on a path that feels productive and nurturing.
This finally feels right.
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